📚Book club is on hiatus but picking back up in a few weeks
🎟️Tickets to my Goodbye Influencing Zoom workshop on 6/3 are still on sale
The season is here. You know, the time of year when it’s still light out at 9, a faint blue, dusky light settling across the city. You can put away your winter jacket and just keep one or two sweaters on hand for brisk nights ahead. The season of mosquitoes, sunburns, sweat, fatigue, watermelon, tomatoes, friends, family, swimming, road trips, fireworks, ice cream, and popsicle juice running down your wrist.
It’s the season when my dog has to stomp his paws and stare at me while I’m at my desk to remind me to feed him dinner, because, holy gosh—I thought it was only 4:00 PM by the daylight still pouring into your living room, but it’s already 6.
The season of barbecues, picnics, weddings, birthday parties, meeting up with old friends in the park.
And, for me, it’s the season of feeling guilty for not “getting the most out of it”.
Growing up in New England, I know this time of year well. New Englanders take advantage of the summer. We live it up because we know it won’t last. Don’t you dare complain about the humidity—you were just aching for it in March! Enjoy every moment and soak up the sun; you’ll be wistfully missing your tan arms come January.
It’s almost as if I am ~*gAsLiGhTinG*~ myself into running myself into the ground this time of year. I’m in a scarcity mindset with sunshine. The whole “life is short” thinking gets real. But I need to remind myself that life is actually long. There will be another sunny day. It’s okay to relax inside and not feel like you need to be outside to maximize every goddamn sunny day.
This past weekend I noticed these feelings coming up for me. I knew I needed some down time in between plans—my sleep has been crap lately, and I’ve been very tired. But the nice weather and mounting social engagements made me want to keep going and nix any plans of laying horizontal in my apartment.
And I do think geography has something to do with it. Resting in New York City summers is hard.
When I lived in LA, all I could see from my window were houses, palm trees, and birds from my bed’s field of vision out the window.
When I’m in my bed in my NYC apartment, I can hear and see thousands of people “living it up” and taking advantage of the day right outside my window.
Without even trying, I see what I could be doing, what I’m missing I get FOMO. My mind starts saying…
I should be outside right now.
EVERYONE IS OUTSIDE.
You should be taking a mental health walk.
NOBODY ELSE IS RESTING.
You shouldn’t be reading in your bed, you should go to the park and read.
You should go find a patch of grass and draw!
You should start doing oil pastels again! Remember when you went to the Georgia O’Keefe exhibit last week? You promised you’d start doing oil pastels again. Do it now so you can go to the park and draw plants!
Take advantage of this nice weather!
Sign up for a sports league.
What are your travel plans this summer? EVERYONE HAS TRAVEL PLANS!
And it’s not just the still-light-out late nights. It’s the sun rising earlier than ever, too! Even though I sleep with a blackout curtain *and an eye mask*, my body is waking me up at 5:30 AM. Sometimes I can go back to bed, but my body knows it’s light out by 6/6:30, so I’m up.
If this sounds exhausting, that’s because it is.
I wrote this because I needed to hear this myself. I needed to tell myself it is okay to rest in the summer. In fact, it’s imperative. In writing this, I’m (once again) reminded of this article that has been living rent-free in my head for six months. It notes how in the North Pole, 24-hour sunlight is harsher on the body than 24-hour darkness.
So, with that in mind, I ask you: What is your favorite way to rest in the summer?
I relate to this so much!! As a fellow New Englander and also someone who needs a lot of quiet/downtime. After I moved to Philly, my mindset around summer completely changed. The summers here are so f'in hot and humid that I can't help but need more downtime. I stopped feeling so guilty about it once I realized that summer is my hibernation season here. When it's 95 degrees with an ungodly percent of humidity, you bet I'll be binging a show in my cool, air-conditioned apartment. Even when it's not absurdly hot, I still need to be mindful of how busy I am. Something I heard recently that I've been trying to heed is to manage your energy not your time. I feel like I can only do one energetically intensive activity a day, and the rest of the time I'll be recouping my energy. Otherwise I won't really be fully present if I'm operating at low capacity.
I recently found in an old journal a Martha Beck quote: "Rest until you feel like playing, then play until you feel like resting." Trust that your body knows what it needs <3
love this and relate.
i remember a very specific moment in NYC one summer... it seemed like everyone was outside. i could see them from my living room window romping on the streets, and it made me feel confused and ashamed for not being out there, "living it up."
but i realized it was a weird perception bias i was experiencing, and one that was hard to get around. how many more people were hidden away in their apartments in that moment, enjoying a movie on their laptop, some air conditioning, quiet and a book? and i just... couldn't see them? just because i saw a bunch of people on the street didn't mean that was the reality of the city in its entirety... much remained hidden behind doors and buildings. it's almost like the "outside" during summer becomes an instagram highlight reel, if you will. mellower human moments remaining out of view. anyway. i found this comforting. less FOMO indeed... <3