Smoothies, being a hypocrite, and prompts for your next dinner party

What happens when an "ex-wellness" girl likes smoothies again? Plus, pics and ideas from the first Offline Time event

📚 P.S. we are reading Elliot Pages’ new memoir, Pageboy, and meeting to discuss it on Zoom at 4:00 pm ET on Sunday, August 20. You must be a paid subscriber to join! I look forward to reading and discussing this memoir with you.

“You’re not SUPPOSED to like smoothies anymore” - me, to myself

One of the funniest things about life is that I always think I’m done growing and then another spurt happens. ??? That seems to be the general gist of life, doesn’t it. Conceptually, I know this, but in the day-to-day, I often forget.

Just the other week, I was at the beach with a friend. He started talking about Juice Press smoothies. There was one specific smoothie that popped into my mind. It’s blue, creamy, almond-y, and REALLY DELICIOUS. My mouth salivated a little bit when he brought it up.

There’s a Juice Press near my apartment, and I often pass it but never go in. Well, last week I went in, and I bought myself the smoothie I was craving. It was just as tasty as I remember it to be.

I am my father and mother’s daughter, so once I finished the smoothie, I thought to myself, ‘How can I recreate this at home?’. A few days later, I went into one of those health food stores that smells like fresh lemon, ginger, celery, and apples. It’s in Greenwich Village, and I used to love going there. It’s an old-school one, mom-and-pop owned. I walked through the aisles, re-familiarizing myself with the old ingredients I’d shunned from my wellness days, like maca and spirulina.

“If anyone saw me in here…. I do not belong in here!!!! I am not a wellness girl anymore!” I thought to myself.

I’ve been through the ringer with the wellness world, and I know well and good that drinking a smoothie does not make you “back in wellness”, but that thought was there. I also shared it on my IG story, which was scary. What if people thought I was relapsing?!

Frankly, I am terrified about returning back to those rigid wellness days. The days when I convinced myself I was allergic or intolerant to certain foods after reading comments from nutritional coaches. The days when I feared going to restaurants that didn’t have healthy options, and getting extreme anxiety when I couldn’t fit a work out in.

Part of the “problem” with sharing my life and my revelations with the www is this hyper awareness of my own story. However, I get free when I share. And I know that there is a cost to sharing (and a cost of not sharing), and you gotta weigh ‘em out sometimes.

I am in the memoir-writing process right now. Maybe these are just raw, common feelings that come along with the process of putting your story out into the world.

Honestly, part of being in your 30’s is caring WAY less than you did in your 20’s, but still caring. I remember the magical wise older women in my life telling me I wouldn’t care. Well hey!!! Why wasn’t I installed with that update? I want to not care! 🥹