The Illusion of Him

On limerance, fantasy, and overcorrection

This is my first time writing about dating in such a personal way. Because of this, it’s paywalled. I’m okay with it being shared with a smaller, more invested audience. Thank you for supporting my thoughts, my art, and my writing.

A few months ago, a guy slid into my DM’s. I’d just gotten back into posting on Instagram more regularly, and as I was scrolling through my requests folder, I saw a message that piqued my interest.

I’d almost missed his message. He’d sent it days before, and it was buried below a slew of other requests.

The DM was perfect: sweet and humorous while being direct. He was asking me out. I won’t write what it said in case he reads this newsletter (please, God, I hope he doesn’t). But trust me, it was slick.

We had mutual friends in common, so I agreed to meet him for a date: coffee, and early in the morning, green flags all around. He asked for my order and had it ready on our date, handing it to me with a huge smile.

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw him in person. He was very handsome. We went on a walk, and as we bantered, he lightly touched my shoulder, too, which I loved. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Sparks flew. We had so much in common. Both into self-growth, our jobs, family, adventure. And he was funny.

He was in his thirties, though younger than me. He had an interesting job he loved, a solid group of friends, and hobbies! Is this what everyone meant by, “as soon as you stop looking, poof, he appears”?

We went on date number two, which he politely asked for before our first date’s end. 10/10.

I was ecstatic.

A few days later on our second date, we went to a museum and had dinner. He paid for dinner by getting up to use the bathroom and giving the waitress his credit card, which is, by the way, very sexy.

It evades the awkward feeling that may come up when a bill is dropped on the table. I’m a traditionalist here. I believe a guy should pick up the bill while courting. Not because I need them to, but because it’s a gesture of effort and interest. It’s nice to be treated. Show me you can take care of me.

After dinner, we shared the softest, sweetest kiss. I made sure not to turn around as I walked away from him after we said goodbye, but if he’d seen me, he would’ve seen the goofiest smile plastered across my face, like that on a little girl who’d just been told she was indeed a fairy princess.