Trying a New Career and Changing Your Mind

Going back to school, leaving school, and all the things I learned along the way

In the fall of 2020, I decided to embark on a whole new career trajectory and become an interior designer. I went back to school and attended UCLA’s Interior Design Extension Program. I spent weeks and months thinking about this decision, talking to my close circle, meditating and journaling about it. The idea came to me after doing the Artist’s Way with friends, and it felt like a clear message from the universe. I bought all the supplies. I found an interior design internship. I told my friends, family and Instagram community. I was so ready for this new chapter.

School began in September. Six months later, I quit.

In a perfect world, I would have made the decision to become a designer, loved every moment, and never looked back. In a perfect world, right now, I would be a recent graduate and working at an interior design firm on Park Avenue. As an East Coast child of girl boss culture and hustle mentality, that was what was supposed to happen.

But this is not how the story goes.

I really enjoyed school. I loved it. I had incredible teachers, including Gray Adams, who passed this year. He changed me, as good teachers most often do. He loved art history, and so do I. We shared a mutual love for architecture and storytelling and had some really insightful discussions about the wonders of NYC’s architecture and our favorite historical pieces inside the Met Museum.

Not liking school was not the problem, no no. I loved learning something new. I loved the idea of this career being so different from that of an online blogger. But the problem is, I didn’t enjoy the process of being an interior designer. I am NOT, by design, good with specifications, which is the very foundation of interior design. I am a draw outside the lines kinda girl.

You’ve probably heard the term, “measure twice, cut once”. I am not that. I am more, “don’t measure at all, and return it later!”

Once I figured this out, I spent a few weeks toiling it over in my head. I weighed the sacrifices I’d have to make for myself, with school, work and living independently that I was just not willing to make. My heart, simply put, was not in that career. I very much enjoyed (and still do!) interior design, in fact it is one of my big interests.

I don’t need to turn all of my hobbies or interests into careers.

Wow. A revolutionary thought for me.

I can have things in my life that I just like to do, read about, or spend money on, that bring me joy, but don’t necessarily become my life’s work. In fact, some may say that it is imperative for us to have things outside of work that we do solely for fun. There was a time in my life where I did not have that, and it was very sad.

As I was coming to these realizations, I said to a friend in my interior design program, “I’m considering dropping this class but quitting something goes against all my morals and values,” Her response sprung me into action. “If this isn’t right for you, why waste time and energy on it simply out of principle?”

I realized I was all caught up in a perfect end result. I wanted perfectionism. I cared more about what it would look like from an outsider’s perspective rather than my own. Not dissimilar to when I was 12 years old and was obsessed with viewing myself through the lens of others. Shaping my own identity via how others perceived me.

I have no regrets about trying interior design. It was such a great experience. I made new friends and learned a lot along the way, with the most important lesson being that it is something I did not want to do. And that, my friend, is priceless.