8 Lessons on 8 Years of Living Alone

Thoughts, reflections, and tips on nearly a decade of living independently

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8 Lessons on 8 Years of Living Alone

In 2024, more and more women are living alone. I can think of a handful of Substackers in the last year alone who have left their husbands and are embarking on solo living.

Since 1970, there’s been a 4% increase in women living alone¹, and women living alone represent the largest percentage of nonfamily households in the US². Additionally, women are outearning their male counterparts in several previously male-dominated cities across the US, including in NYC, Washington D.C., and San Diego, CA³. More women have college degrees than men⁴.

This all amounts to one thing: we are on our way to more money, more choices, and more nights spent alone.

Is it a good thing that more of us are living alone? I'm not entirely sure yet. In America, living alone is often seen as a great success—proof that you've secured scarce housing and can fully support yourself; you’re rich! In contrast, in Italy, it's often viewed as sad and depressing.

I believe that human connection and learning to live with others—whether a partner, spouse, roommate, or family member—can be incredibly fulfilling for personal growth. But I will say this: living alone has its perks, too, and I should know. I’ve spent the last eight years doing it.

No dishes to worry about but your own, no schedules to manage, no babies to watch yet, except maybe furry ones that love us unconditionally.

My first week in my first solo apartment, Summer 2016. I have lived alone since then.

I moved into my first solo apartment three months before Trump was elected, in the summer of 2016.

This summer I celebrate eight years of living alone.

Eight years of making every single financial, emotional, and physical decision for myself.

Eight years of self-reliance.

Eight years of doing whatever I want with my space.

Eight years of deciding which direction the bed faces.

Eight years of having to move said bed myself if I want it to face a different direction (Ow, my back!)

Eight years later, living alone, 2024

In celebration, I thought I’d share eight lessons and eight tips (for paid subscribers only) on everything I’ve learned over the last eight years. You must be a paid subscriber to read. This costs $5/month or $40/year and helps support me in creating this newsletter. You will get at least 1 extra post per month, including personal essays, recipes, how-to’s and special announcements. You can cancel anytime, but I hope you don’t.

To those about to embark on living alone, whether by choice or circumstance, many valuable (and challenging) lessons await you. Here are mine.

8 lessons on 8 years of living alone