For today’s Friday ritual note, we’re going to talk about what happens when you stop doing something you know is good for you, and the physical, emotional, social, and mental anguish this can bring.
This is just how important exercise is to me, and all the ways a consistent practice touches every facet of my life.
And what happens when you take it all away.
I usually use the Friday ritual post to talk about something I never stopped doing, 16 years into my wellness journey. And honestly, I wish I never stopped exercising, but unfortunately, that’s just not how my story goes.
Today I’m sharing what really happened when I stopped moving my body for four years—the resentment that grew, the loneliness that followed, and the moment I finally decided to move again. What came next was a renewed outlook on exercise as a complete and total gift, something I get to do; something I genuinely love doing. My daily exercise means so much to me that apparently, it makes me emotional, as you’ll see in the video.
This is not a post about how beneficial moving your body is (do I even need to say that exercise has indisputable evidence for preventing primary and secondary chronic diseases and premature death1?), rather, I’m sharing the lessons that came out of this painful hiatus, including cultural commentary on hot-button terms like body positivity, body neutrality, anti-diet, and anti-wellness.
But first, a quick poll:
We’re 6 weeks into Hand Wash Only! Thank you so much for being here, I so appreciate every single one of you who opens, reads, and gets something from my newsletter. I’d love your input. Do you prefer the shorter, three-times-a-week rhythm we have now, or would you rather see one longer post each week that goes a bit deeper into the same topics: recipes, rituals, and style?
Back to exercise.
Anyone who has ever fallen off the exercise wagon may see themselves in my story. I think our relationship with exercise mirrors how worthy we think we are. That’s one thing that really stood out to me when reflecting on my journey… I wanted to prove that you could still live a happy, empowered, healthy life without it.
Because that’s what I kept hearing in the anti-diet space.
But this sentiment lacks truth.
And basic, foundational evidence that exercise really does have a massive impact on brain function, mood elevation, and illness prevention.
But more than that, I am 100%, without a doubt, happier, more empowered, and healthier when I am exercising. How could I have ever thought otherwise? It’s common sense!
What happens when we swing from one side of the pendulum to another? It’s not good, and I’m here to tell the tale.
I read mantras like, “you don’t need to workout to be worthy of food”, which is 100% true, but when you use that as an excuse to completely stop moving your body, I think it misses an important part of the picture: why are you not working out? Are you doing it because of an injury (understandable), to heal (understandable), or because you’re trying to rebel? I read mantras like, “my weight is not my worth” while completely disassociating from my body and hiding in clothes I never felt good about.
I adopted an anti-wellness mindset; listening to podcasts and mental health professionals talk about toxic workout culture.
There is nuance with these mantras and this is a delicate subject, I know. The body positivity movement can be healthy for certain people along certain parts of their journey. But personally, I do not think it’s a healthy long term, sustainable way for us to live. Frankly, it’s too gentle. And it lacks science.
If you’re always cushioning yourself, you’ll never start. Sometimes, you just gotta do it.
When I was doing body positivity, I was never more cut off from my body. I believe we’re put on this earth to connect with ourselves and other people, and the way we do that is through our bodies. It’s literally the vessel in which we experience earth. If it works, and if you are able, why not give it what it CRAVES and needs to function its best and move it, every damn day?!!?
I get emotional talking about this, because it really pains me that I had to go through a long phase of denying myself something so beautiful and fruitful. But I think in sharing and talking about these delicate subjects, we can name something that I think a lot of people struggle with.
Watch the full video to hear my whole story, including:
how I used “I need to stop thinking about myself” as a way to stop taking care of myself completely
pendulum swinging from extreme wellness to anti-wellness
how i knew i needed to get back into it again and the small manageable steps I took to get back into exercise
rediscovering exercise as a complete and total gift (and something I look forward to every day), not as punishment, but as a non-negotiable to feel good
the noticeable shifts that happened inside and out when I started moving again
Resources:
I love sculpt, pilates, walking, and strength training. My workout routine is usually a mix of those! And here I’ll share a list of Youtube fitness instructors who I love and trust, along with items I’ve bought and use every day.
INSTRUCTORS
I am so into at-home Youtube fitness instructors and have found so much success and joy “working” with these two over the last year and a half:
KBodySculpt (sculpt/pilates instructor): I do her weekly workouts and she is my favorite pilates instructor ever, which is crazy because I’ve never met her. Her workouts are always challenging, but she is so sweet and is right there doing them with you. She cheers you on and always has a smile on her face and I just love her energy! I look forward to her uploads every Monday!
Caroline Girvan. She focuses on strength training using just dumbbells and a mat. She’s the one who got me back into strength work, and I always feel so good after finishing a video. I love that she introduces so many unique moves that I never get bored. She has thousands of videos—you can search anything you’re looking for, like “upper body 45 minutes” or “full body 20 minutes,” and you’re guaranteed to find it. She’s also great with alignment and injury prevention.
EQUIPMENT
Bala ankle/arm weights: I use 2 lbs, and I LOVE them. I wish I’d gotten them sooner! They are 100% worth the hype! I use them for walking, doing sculpt, pilates, yoga or during strength training for extra burn so I don’t have to buy heavier dumbbells, I just add these!
Bala mat: my old mat cracked and I recently replaced it with this one. Sleek, non-slippery, and very chic.
Good walking sneakers by APL. I’ve talked about these on Stories, but this shoe is an Oprah favorite for a good reason. Oprah’s never wrong. After wearing them for a full day, my Birks felt like cardboard. That’s how cozy they are. I wear them on my daily walks with Samson and for strength training. They are REALLY good for my high arch girls or anyone who wants tons of support. Walking on clouds is an understatement.
Lululemon Wunder Train Leggings 25”: super soft, never see-through, won’t pill. Lululemon OG Stans unite!
Vuori AllTheFeels Bra: so many cute colors on sale and I just stocked up! So soft and feels like nothing. Supportive for my bigger chest girls, too! Love them for travel days, walks, strength, pilates, and anything light-to-medium support (size down for a more compressed fit).
Alo Airlift Intrigue Leggings 7/8: I just bought my first pair of Alo leggings recently and am impressed. Compressive, comfortable, and they stay put. I love the light sheen on them, too! Okay Alo, I see you!
If you’ve found this video, essay, or list of resources helpful, please like, share, and subscribe to show your support. Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful weekend everybody. Maybe, see you on the mat?
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1402378/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
